Girl2woman's Weblog

Chocolate

girl2woman — Mon, 03 May 2010 05:58:10 +0000

Even after too much sweetness chocolate gets bitter at the end, with its choco taste, even its not complete without a taste of bitterness in it !! And we are arguing about other things in life for not being sweet or joyful all the time.There are shortcomings with even the chocolate, even its not perfect. Too much of it or the less preparedness of it, actually is bitter.

So much to ask from sugar to keep helping everyone reduce the bitterness.I won’t be surprised if sugar in it making exist in a state where it is not sweet infact, it would be unfair for it to be sweet all the time!

The chocolate does not remain sweet all the time… it needs sugar to be sweet!

After a long time

girl2woman — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 16:18:32 +0000

The phrase used in the title of this post, itself is used so many times before starting to write letters, posts, conversations, blogs, articles..news..

so, after a long time, I’m back at writing some post on this blog. Few days back, a friend suggested that 1 year in a different country can be a topic for my blog. Hmm, I thought, nice idea. But,there are lakhs or should I say millions of students who leave their country and study somewhere else, whats so new about me leaving my den (if I’m the tigress..just because I want to use this word). Umm, nothing new.May be or may be not.

So , besides the fact that I’m happy about survival, I have nothing else to say about it.

Hunger and its perspectives, thats the topic of my blog today.

Hunger means the want of something or some body ( mere food).From the stone age, I wonder how the man must have realised his feeling of hunger.I mean how must have he felt for the first time, that he needs to eat, rather put something in his mouth, so that it will disappear in its body and he will get rid of this feeling where the stomach aches for food. Later on, to practice that when he had kids, that child needs to be fed to keep quiet or to put to sleep.Than to realise that whatver he put in his mouth made him feel better and he could work and roam around only when he ate something.Wonder how the process took place.What did we realise first, the feeling of hunger or the prospect of puting things in mouth ?

Besides food,there are many other kinds of hunger, man must have started realising.In a way, if serpent is not involved in the story , it was this hunger of Eve which led to totally another perspective to this topic. Which not only led to mankind but also the rising of pain and hard labor.

Hunger of success must have arised after that, may be much much later in mankind, when he started facing competition, when he realised, he feels nice to win.It is in one of its wierdest forms, right now, in these days.Lack of this hunger is now seen as lack of ambition or willingness or talent.But,it must have started only with a small delight of being able to kill the fastest rabbit for the man’s delicious meal.

Hunger of power should have arised during the same time.Power to rule the animals , fellow human beings and to lead their small group.This kind of hunger is a core of today’s society. This one prevailed for a long long time.It still exists.No individual will deny power.As it leads to change,Change according to your own wish and will.

Hunger of Money. Not the least important one but definetly the last one I hope of this lineage.I think the last one ,but the most killer one. Man is so badly craving for it that it has become the basis of other kinds I mentioned.. SUCCESS, POWER, FOOD and SEX.Man thinks, he can get all other stuff fulfilled by the presence of money in his hand.

I have not bothered to mention more sober kinds of hunger. The simple versions such as love, attention , affection and care is the one neglected form of hunger, the one not mentioned openly and expressed to each other that often,but experienced by the millions of unfortunate ones in this society. The ones who slept that night crying in the bed! Believe me,even this kind of unfullfillment, is devastating in its own sense.

Man, I havnt eaten anything since morning, see.. Hunger can make you write blogs!! Time to finish work and eat!!

Cya

:) just

girl2woman — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 20:48:01 +0000

I’m sure, don’t like its flavor..
Umm its bitter sweet..
It’s salty sour..
Or is it..Its mixture of both..

It’s not for the first time you are tasting it..
I know, I know.. still I don’t want to remember it forever
I dnt want to recollect it later

Its wierd .. or is bad.. Noo ..
Its always wierd….

Let it go..you will never ever remember..
It was more of bitter sweet,this time…
Hmm I agree….

Forgive me and bless me at the same time O’lord
Not again. Never ever

Part 2

girl2woman — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:31:18 +0000

It was early morning around 7a.m. and Edward was already back, at the gates of his workplace, Cemetery.He opened the gates ,started the car and drove down the main lane.He had opened all other gates as well. He reached his office, kept the bag and immediately left to get a cup of coffee.It was,yet, dark outside.He walked down the main road adjacent to this gate. It was already getting crowded and the traffic seemed building up. “One cup of Caffe Latte”,he said. Edward was a regular customer, the guy across smiled and went in. Edward glanced through the newspapers at the stand. “We are ready for the Summit”, said the Politician beeming at the camera’s.Edward took one copy and paid the shopkeeper.On his way back , he felt that it was colder compared to last week. He remembered that it was December and it’s going to be worse till February.
The work at cemetery is not described.He is working with associated Church. He usually knew about the burial schedules before hand. He was then responsible for all the arrangements. Today there was not much work. Otherwise he was also in charge of the work done by the gardener in maintaining the trees, bushes in and around the cemetery area. Though he was appointed by the Public services of the city, he always had to report and discuss with Edward before he executes anything.
He noticed that people have started using the main lane already. As told earlier, it was short-cut for many to the other main road. Obviously,Cemetery gates did not allow cars to pass by, yet there were many people who liked to have morning walks in this place.
Edward started reading the newspaper. At around half past 3 , he heard some noise outside, it was a loud noise making group of youngsters. He gazed through the window and stepped outside the office to have a closer look at what was happening.The guys started running back to the main gate.
He came inside, sat on the chair and started thinking of that past,which he prayed everyday not to think of and ask for forgiveness from All mighty. ..smoke. Smoke.. fog… ” RUN, RUN RUN .. he cannot catch you ” He ran as fast as he could, he looked around … everyone was dispersing and hiding in different directions. He was panting and breathing quite heavily. .he touched his chest… jacket.. fingers.. blood.. he couldn’t believe his eyes..No ..No…
… Edward …smoke smoke…

He shook his head. “No,No..”He said to himself.He looked at the watch , it was half past five. He had to leave . He convinced himself someday he will forget everything. He will. But, its just so funny that idle mind not only loves to dream about the future but it also reminds you about the most painful memories of life.They are always in your head somewhere, you hate to admit it, but you just keep them to convince yourself time and again.. ” It was not your mistake” , Edward said it loud to himself.He got ready to leave.

He looked at the Calender.It was Thursday tomorrow.
She would Come.

Abstract

girl2woman — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 23:00:33 +0000

“Yes” , he thought to himself, “2 months completed and I’m still here” It was not long before that Edward had joined this position , he was supposed to take care of the Cemetery area. One would wonder, what is supposed to be taken care of but, if you see this beautiful Cemetery you wouldn’t ask questions.Its amazing how much do humans suffer in their life yet people want them to lay in a beautiful place. How about having a beautiful life instead.Edward looked at the watch it was 6, time to leave.The winter was at its best since the beginning of this December. He packed his bag, opened the door checked for his Car keys.The Cemetery was spread out an extremely large area of land. He used the Car given to him to cover the distance and close all the doors.Before entering the car, he glanced around. It looked quiet.

It was different in summers and winters. It’s difficult to believe but during Summers people came to this cemetery to not only pay their homage but also to enjoy the scenic beauty of this place. It had tall trees which in summer showed all the possible shades of green and turned perfect yellow in fall. These trees formed a major road that lied between two main gates of the cemetery which joined perfectly two different worlds.

Rest of the scenic beauty comprised of extremely old trees, well maintained gardens, and all the graves were surrounded by trees and plants of different varieties. Families had a free will to plant a tree besides the grave though not in immediate proximity. The Main road of the cemetery was usually used in day time by the people to reach the other side quickly.

Edward felt the chill of this winter evening. He entered the Car, closed the door,removed the keys and started the car. He looked around near the graves.Some of them had light in front of them, many people lighted candles, he thought, before Christmas. It was very natural for people to be reminded of their loved ones during the festive season.Just then two bicycles stopped in front of him, he knew what had happened, they realised seeing him that the door must be closed and they cannot pass by. They turned around for the other gate.

Edward saw that they were youngsters. He did not switch off the car lights and helped them find a road. In winter, it was getting dark early and infact this morning there was fog too. The trees without the leaves in this fog looked even more tall and cold! He was reminded of also the high suicide rate of this town, winters lead to depression, loneliness and festive season worked perfect for all this.
He had reached the second door, he closed the door and locked it.Parked the Car just outside the gate and left.

Airports..

girl2woman — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:23:27 +0000

I had been to Airport last week for receiving some people from India. They were on their official visit. I reached early, when it comes to do such official work I prefer to be early than late. So, I had to wait until they pick their bags and finally come out. The arrival section speaks for itself, tells you so many stories with just one plane landing.

Kids running to greet their grand parents. Father or Mother with their kids to meet their other half who returns from an official visit. Its such a fun to see the kids. They run and smile, shy away ..elder ones try to act maturely cute.Some even younger ones don’t know how to react so they just cry. Some friends who had come to receive their friends.Lovers, partners..Families with the flags, flowers.

Some people like me who don’t know how the person would look like so holding up names and looking at each face suspiciously. Some trying to find the meeting point. Others who know that they have to rush for next flight or rather know that no one is picking them up , just look around for the exit.

At the same time loads of others still too early for their flight having a coffee or a burger, trying to read something.

Yes, I was waiting for quite a long time to notice all this and more.The most funny area are those 2 doors who always remain closed unless someone is coming out, still, everyone keeps looking at the closed door!!

You meet, greet, smile and ask.. How was the journey?? Welcome …

,…waiting for my turn… just that it would be different , I will be still be the one waiting though I’m arriving.. I won’t meet or greet, I would just hug and kiss!! I missed you all I won’t cry ,I just won’t stop smiling ….

Realization

girl2woman — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:58:52 +0000

What you think is the truth is not always the truth! What you think is possible is not always possible! What you believe is true is not always true! What you believe is the right time is not ! What you believe is the right moment is not really the right moment! Whom you believe is the right person is not a right person! What you believe is not, what you see, is not what you think, is not what is true, is not right and is not for you!

Now further part would be explained in a totally different language, just because I feel like..

” Mala sangta yet nahi ahe nakki kay hotay! Mhanje shabdat mandta na yene ha tasa mansan cha khup common problem ahe , ani me pan tyach problem madhun jaat asave. Ase kahi ayushaat khup mothe ghode aadle ahe , ase kahi nahi pan nakki vichitra ka vattay hey sangne kathin ahe. Kadhi nhave toh ayushat baryach goshti chalu ahet. Veglya veglya drushtine tashya changlya mhantil ashya ahet pan kontich changli goshta faar kaal enjoy karta yet nahi, ashi jevha paristhiti yete , tyala manachi ghalmel hone ase mhantat.Magcha athavda kharach changla gela hota. tase me majhya messenger status war pan mention kele.Kase jhale ahe aata ki lokan kadun kasli hi reaction ghyaychi asel tar ase kahi karave lagte.Kivan generally svatah baddal pan readably khush vhave lagte nahitar konala thaav thikana ach nasto tumhi hya jagat aslya naslya cha.. kadhi kadhi hya saglya net war online rahne vagaire cha pan jaam kantala yeto, pan naiilaj ! Ashya veli majhya dokyat pudhil mhann aaj kaal humkhaas yete ti mhanje: Dushkalat terava mahina… Aadhich ghara pasun dur , war net pasun dur rahilo tar mag kay socially invisible ach!

Denmark ani India madhil 4 and half hours che time difference jhalya pasun lokanshi bolne avghad jhale ahe..actually tya hun khup vichitra bhitti vattey mala..hey blog war tase discuss karnya sarkhe nahi pan tari… ugacch parat India la December madhe jaanychi bhiitti vattey..Bhiti mhanje excitement ahe pan ugach dhakdhuk ahe.. kay kay karen, ani majhya kade lokan shi bolayla kahich rahile nahi tar karan majha contact kami hota ani mala aata khup kami mahit ahe, lokan baddal, ase kahise.. kivan contact rahnar nahi mhanun kahi lokanshi neat contact madhe aslya mule me India madhe aalyawar majhya kade kahi bolaylach rahile nahitar, mag kay? Te amazing 15 divsat kuthlyach point la..vichitra nahi vatla pahije ki, “yaar, ab hum woh dost nahi re”.. ha vichaar yenya peksha me lokanna bhetne avoid karen..

Aai baba ani dada hyana bhetnyat saglyat jaast interest asnar ahe. 8-9 mahine jhale tase, saglyan shi mann moklya gappa marun.. mhanje skype, majhe calls madat kartat pan face to face chi majja kahi aurach!

Aata jara vegla bolte, majhi swapna.. nahi ayusha baddal nahi pan ratri padtat ti , kharach swapna na athavne hech bare aste..I used to feel different ki me kahi selected lokan paiki ahe jyana swapna athavtat pan u know, kadhi kadhi traas hoto swapna athavli tari, nako vat ta tyana athavna.. “..

Not all your dreams are relevant !! It’s better to forget dreams, than feeling wierd, after remembering them…

Snowy tirey day…..

girl2woman — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:32:47 +0000

Its 1:15a.m. of 5th November morning and I wonder , why am I still awake.. Actually, I know, I just had my dinner. Without checking the social networking sites, blog site and some entertainment sites, I cannot sleep. It’s true.

I had my first ever snowfall experience today. I have seen snow before but this was when snow was falling! Its getting colder out here. I’m not complaining yet,but I need to mention it loud, I’m being psyched to handle it by me.It’s true.

I wondered, if God has excess of white color left after the spring, summer and fall that it just spills it all over in the form of white snow flakes. May be during this time he refills his utilities of colors for the rest of seasons. He makes a budget and gets the coloring stuff from Heaven market! Then he distributes these colors to all the plants, flowers, leaves all around the earth, so it takes him around 4 months to do that! I’m sure, The sun, accompanies him for help.

I also wondered that day if the dried leaf when crunched below your foot, makes an “Ouch!” sound when it cracks in to pieces!

My room still feels cold,its because of the window, which somehow passes the coldness in.Also the air ventilator near the sink. I’m a bit relaxed these days. Many major discomforts are getting solved. Its kind of relief to your brains! What works the best with me, is when I push my limits and fulfill the promises of my mind or at least keep my conscience alive.

I’m dead tired.Have to get up early

Just one person Contd..

girl2woman — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:53:31 +0000

I got some views on my earlier post from a friend, No I don’t have to say that one person should be my life partner, my boy friend my soul mate,anything of those extreme stuff,but still 1 person/human being who assures you that he or she wouldn’t dare doubt you or your intentions.

I contradicted myself, I realized, I wrote, “No expectations” still wrote so many expectations, what I meant was All this can be done when its least expected and still on self will.

Also, as my friend said its even more tough when you are finding from millions, but then we have to be fast decision taking people, or at least have to stand by what we decide or look fast around or get the best from what is available. You just cant be bad at all these fronts.And we still find ourselves bad at all these fronts.We don’t fair on any of these.We cant decide fast.. We tend to change our decisions.We do not look around enough to realize a preferred potential or else are ready to compromise with what we want and what we have. We invite sadness by our own decisions or God hasn’t been fair when he left us impaired at all these fronts and sent on Planet Earth to Survive.

Just one person.

girl2woman — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:14:59 +0000

I need to meet that one person who doesnt doubt my intentions.

Just one person who doesnt question me

Just one person who stands by me even when I go wrong.

Just one person who looks in to my eyes and knows what I’m trying to say.

Just one person who knows what I’m thinking in my Silence.

Just one person who looks at the world with different own way

Just one person who speaks the mind

Just one person who just stands next to you,even when there are many

Just one person who just trusts me blindly

Just one person who doesnt want to leave me, since its such a pain to stand me,

but as its even harder to leave me alone.

Just one person who just holds you when you are sleeping

And all this can be done without much expressing,

not much asking for

No complains

No expectations.

No problems.

Still connecting, still knowing . STILL BEING THERE.

Aren’t we millions of us down here on earth,why is that its difficult to find one such a person.

And how come this problem, is such a common problem no matter where you belong to? When Calvin wants to leave this planet Earth as we Adults are spoiling and polluting it, you know it may seem insane, but I wouldn’t want to ridicule him. Common, why couldn’t he leave a place that his elders just couldn’t manage for so many years.He was right, he wouldn’t want to inherit something which was already given to him in a bad state.How would you take responsibility of something that was ill-managed in first place.

Back to the main question,Why are so many people still finding? Why can’t just people decide fast. Why can’t anyone just stand by their decision. Just deal with it. Why cant all decisions taken, be the perfect ones. Why do decisions have to come with, a counter small question still lurking at the back of your mind, WHAT IF.. THEN…??

I want to meet one such person and believe me I would love to be one such person for someone else as well. Its so easy. Just psyche yourself. Everything is possible.Point is what you want to psyche yourself with.

D.A.N.C.E.

girl2woman — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 07:20:16 +0000

2 parties on consecutive days, does not happen that often, one with the Danes and the other with the Indians.I enjoyed in both, one for its newness and the other for giving the original feeling back.

Still, I cannot deny I felt a bit bore at both the parties , one for being the odd man out and in the other for not having enough friends to enjoy with. I feel like participating in events now in organizing stuff rather than being a guest. I have always been nearer to stage.
Once,in a conversation I had made this statement, I don’t drink, because I don’t need a high in Life, this way. Its just that I don’t feel like drinking it. The immediate counter question I got was, what makes you high then? I replied back, “Nothing”

I was/am proud of this fact, that not any kind of drink can make my brain feel the want to taste it and get lost in dream world away from reality. I’m very much grounded.I don’t even get a feeling that, “I should try it once, whats so special about it”

But, something else was bothering me.It was how come my life be that amazingly straight wherein I don’t feel heights of freedom, getting away in your own world, just being mentally light.It couldn’t be possible.

Though, not entirely. But, yes to a large extent the answer to that bothering question would be Dance.

Dance gives me a high! Play some good music, some good company and I get completely lost in music and dance steps.I don’t even mind others dancing and I’m just watching, I enjoy cheering them ,hooting.. clapping.. smiling for them too.. Its my passion. I knew it. I reconfirm it.

But you need a right kind of audience to dance in front of, not just a small gathering, you need the ambiance, the music, the people, the looks, the dress….many factors contribute.

I just can’t get over the D.J. days at College festivals. It meant loads of freedom to dance according to your own wish, with your friends.

Dance is freedom.
Dance is passion.
Dance is language.
Dance is expression.
Dance is being myself, for me.

Blank Conversation

girl2woman — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:41:37 +0000

Wassup?

Nothing much, Wassup with you?

I’m having a nice time here.

Ok, Nice to know.

… … …

So, Whats wrong with you?

Nothing.

How’s work going?

Going fine.

How is family, you have been in touch with them?

Yes, yes.

Ok..

… …. …

So, did you hear this new song?

Which?

This one, listen to this..

.. …

No.

Ok..Its a nice song You know, the music is amazing

Ok.

You know who the composer is?

No.

Any guess?

No.

It’s A.R.Rehman.

… ….

So, are you hungry?

No.

Ok, I’m hungry, I need to cook food.Talk to you later.

Ok.

Bye.

Danish,Statistics, Room..and me..

girl2woman — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:45:21 +0000

Two things that are on my mind recently.Both the classes taking some time of my “Recent life”.Okay, Recent life is a weird term, Ignore.

Statistics, a misconception of a researcher in finding significant solutions to larger problems of life.Its interesting till a point where you know that life is more than what you actually think is significant. The sense you derive from non sensible data and the uselessness of supposedly good data is extremely amazing.
Learning Danish is good if you accept somethings in life : what you see is not what you say , i.e. what you write is not what you pronounce.After you have attained this level of acceptance then life becomes simple for you.

Sense about anything is not impossible to attain, its just how you want to attain it for yourself.

Room is a place you come back to after a day’s work , to hide from the cold outside, where you meet people from back home waiting to talk to you( never mind the time difference),where you just lay on the bed and think, how many times do I listen to the same song, when will I get bored of this?

Do you ever reach a stage when you start thinking that you haven’t thought enough. You just don’t want to use logic and find answers. You just don’t feel like thinking out something in advance, you just want something spontaneous. I reach such stages quite often.

….and I again hear the same song..in the morning , in the afternoon and just before I sleep… I still don’t remember the words, what was I thinking?

Mmmmmm

girl2woman — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 10:30:16 +0000

“It’s Diwali!!” I said for the nth time and people in my office , just smile, nod and ask me questions about Diwali.. like has it begun.. etc??.. I had been talking about in my office for quite some time now. So, they were all mentally prepared.. So, I lighted candles at my office. All of them liked it as our room seemed more warm than the rest of office. I was celebrating festival and getting away from chilly offices …

Had a really nice party for Diwali last night with some friends over here. I prepared the starters Potato Paneer Bites. They tasted amazing I can get people to vouch for that.My french neighbour liked it as well, he told me very nicely, that, “They don’t look good but taste amazing”.He took another try and went Mmmmmm.

Its funny how this French guy made the “Mmmmm” sound when he liked it. I mean not only French even my Portuguese colleague makes similar sounds for yummy food.It doesn’t come naturally to me.

So, it was Mmmmmmmmm

After a long time, everyone meet on these parties, we talk, eat ,play cards..talk , eat..laugh.. giggle, take snaps..pull each others leg.. make fun.. and back to your room. This was quite common when I was back home, but such parties even after so many days, are getting heavy on me, Cannot handle all the people talking together for very long time now. Is it now, or it was always there, I still wonder. I remember myself exiting many get together’s in a shell for sometime,I need silence for some time.Shaa, I need to increase my listening abilities.

All of a sudden, I feel I have done a lot of shopping .My room seems small to me with all the stuff.Or I need cleaning up. Next week is going to be ” mighty busy”.I need a Sunday’s break to prepare myself (Read: Complete the pending jobs)

I sure did miss my family for this festival, though I enjoyed here , I must say I was the chatterbox of the family.What an irony! I was just complaining of lot of chitchatting.

Even a small candle can make you feel so much at peace and warmth,wherever you are

Lights for the fear of darkness…Happy Diwali !!

ABC and XYZ

girl2woman — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:54:03 +0000

I plan to start a new series, let’s see how much do I succeed, I plan to do ABC to XYZ on any given topic.
When I say this term, I mean everything related to it that I know and I wish to know from start (ABC) to finish (XYZ)

The topics may vary a lot. I have nothing specific in mind besides the term, ABC and XYZ, actually, but taking new initiatives in a blog is necessary. Like once upon a time I had actually started writing a fictional story Someday I will write a script for a movie, I’m sure .. lolz..

So..yeah.. Will come up soon with something to be added in this series.

My normal blogs will continue till then.

Ciao.